Once you had the taste of perfection.

I am loathe to imagine that there are many styles and it all depends on individual choice. Why not do both? It isn't really that hard. I know someone who has been able to do so. So maybe it's because you're just trying to find a reason not to change, because doing so takes you out of your comfort zone.

You want to go home on time and not be bothered. Just be entertained and amused. That's all you ask for.

You don't need someone to do ridiculously well, or point out the cracks in your mirror. You don't need someone who won't fall in (your) line.

But she's the exception, I'm reminded. So maybe I am ruined. So unfortunate in once having the taste of perfection, that comparisons are so easily done. I pick the ripest one, I still got the seed.

Someone said to me, there have been so many people we had been wrong about.

But so far, I haven't seen someone who I've been wrong about. I just always hoped it'll turn out better. But I can't change you. I can't change the system.

A younger version of me once said, get inside and then change the system.

It's not the system that is broke. It's not an amorphous entity with no face. It's a biological organisation, made out of individuals. It's individuals who don't (want to) change.

Maybe all I'm craving for is just good old honest, communication and friendship. Like how a boss one told me to get off the computer when it was 11pm, because I wasn't paid enough and neither was she. If only she knew how many times I've told this story.

It's not all bad though. I think I know very clearly now what I need.